Category: Journal

Called JM tonight and had chance to really reach out with God’s heart for him and really feel a lighter burden for the moment. Took a moment for chit chat about how things are for us just so the lead in would seem more natural. when I asked him how he was doing he admitted pretty quickly that things weren’t going that well. Slowly he started sharing how hard it’s been to feel unity with Jen. It was going well over the summer and then issues came up again over their church and everything seemed to go sideways again. I can see that their vulnerable beginnings at unity and trust are under great fire and must be upheld in prayer.

Then he said that it’s hard for him to call family and talk about it cause he doesn’t want to unload such negative stuff. I asked him pretty bluntly, “why is it hard to call your family Jon-Marc?”  At that point he started sobbing and choking out the words, “because I feel like my marriage is failing. It’s been so hard for so long…and I don’t know what to do about it.” Before he got more than 5 words out I began sobbing too and I’m sure he was hearing me to. It seems that whatever efforts he is trying to make to seek God and initiate spiritual leadership or direction are resisted, assuredly because there is so little trust between them. Even his desire to remain engaged in worship leading is called into question because it seems hypocritical…and yet it’s the very thing he needs to connect with God and find solace for his soul. Of course Jen carries such hurt and betrayal by Jon-Marc that it feels too hard to support him when she is dying inside. He mentioned that they seem to continually bring out the worst in each other.

I was able to review some of the reflections about boarding school that God seems to be bringing to my attention, the conversation recently with mom and dad, my regrets over not standing against my classmates in Jon-Marc’s defense, my sorrow over needing to find my own way without guidance and not really being proud of my choices. I cried again as I told him my conviction that as the youngest it would have been hardest on him…that already he had a lot to overcome in his sense of being cherished and loved. I told him that I felt he needed to know that God felt grief over what he had to go through and so did I…that he needs permission to grieve himself over things that have affected his sense of value and worth, right from the womb. It wasn’t right and wasn’t God’s intent for him. We both sobbed some more…grown men falling to pieces like children. But it feels right.

He said that everything rang true for him and several things were coming to mind that validated it even as I spoke but the reason it would have been hard for him to come to the conclusion that there were was anything wrong with that experience was that it was so much a part of him that it would feel like admitting that there was something intrinsically wrong with him. And boarding school became an experience of significant value to him.

I talked about the need to feel God’s protective love and grief for him so he didn’t see God sitting in critical judgment over him in his mistakes with this marriage. He needs to allow this for himself if he will be able to start healing from the real fears and insecurities that assault him. He acknowledged that he has always found it impossible to withhold argument or defensiveness when he feels misunderstood. I felt that it was not so much a need to be understood as it was to prove that he was worth hearing, worth loving, and worth cherishing. I told him how precious he is as a person and son of God…that I really believe that although I thank God for the gifts he has given me in creativity, I think the call that God has on Jon-Marc will have much more far reaching impact in the kingdom of God than what my own life will achieve. Of all us children it was about Jon-Marc’s life that God spoke a sense of promise to our mother. Again, I cried as i spoke to him the incredible value of his life.

Lord, I trust you will continue to draw out of Jon-Marc the story that needs to be reviewed and understood from the standpoint of your great compassion and cherishing love of a child that didn’t receive these things at his most vulnerable time, the very commencement of life. It is not needlessly digging through the closet of the past in attempt to find old bones that don’t exist but a true re-viewing of a life from a perspective that is not easily found in our human relationships…from God’s perspective

Up late last night asking God about a dear friend who’s fallen in love. I feel both delighted for him (as we’ve been praying for this area of his life and even tried to help set him up with someone) and burdened about something. It’s odd how you can feel both things at the same time even though they would seem to be mutually exclusive. The funny thing is that Kendra and I were both up until 2 in the morning thinking and praying about the same things…our 4 children and this friend. Somewhere in my mind ran this phrase “I want you to stand up for the one I have chosen for him”, or maybe it was “someone needs to…” I’m not sure what that means exactly but all of it has led me to a general sense that perhaps God is advising things to slow down to make sure that a proper and firm foundation is built for future relationship to this woman and to her whole family.

We’ve had eventful days in a smalltown kind of way…just the way we like it.

Last week we had Heather Perrow and Dawn Humphrey over, then the 7 Langsfelds for 2 nights, then Rick and Kemi with their two kids for a night right after that.

Sunday evening rocking out with Power of 10 in Wait park. Just hanging with Papa listening to some middle aged musicians and singers that were suprisingly good. had a full brass section too. Picnic on a blanket, ice cream and cake, mild weather with a breeze. Doesn’t get any better than that.

Yesterday Kendra went to Portland with Mom and came back with a washer and dryer set (Whirlpool Cabrio) after days of research. we’re super stoked to have our own washer and dryer again…and a large capacity 5.2 cubic feet. Huge! I just hooked it all up and wired the dryer today.

I got the chemicals all sorted for the hot tub, cleaned it out, and Last night we finally got to sit in the hot tub together and look at the stars after the kids were in bed. It’s quite a magical feel to be in our own house enjoying such a luxury.

Today we had Saul from Green Seasons fix our whole sprinkler system manifold. Kids were fascinated just watching him cut glue and connect all the parts together.

The Wait Park Internet browser was in the park again today. Just sits right on the sidewalk with his laptop plugged into a post that has a power outlet and get’s wireless signal from the library across the street.

On July 7, 2010 the revised price with personal items deducted was finally accepted after what seemed to be a grueling skirmish between real estate agents. Alix, their agent, was ready to go after everybody to get that $4,000.00 back and wanted to find out if we really could afford it and should return to the original price of 331 before the appraisal. She grilled Annie (buying agent) and Robert (our lender) both. I feel sorry for Annie having her competency called into question as we have felt very blessed to have her working for us. So, it could have ended poorly under the strain but we were praying and then they accepted and the tension seemed to wash away. We even got a cordial sounding note inviting us to the pool with our kids from Lindsay Waite the homeowner.

Well I feel like i just graduated from nincompoop high…the dumb Canuck who came down to the US to give the locals something to laugh about.

So, I’m hanging out in Powell’s bookstore, the coolest and biggest new and used bookstore i’ve ever seen in my life…I mean these guys have a whole 2 shelf sections on calligraphy books where most bookstores like Chapters or Barnes & Nobles might have a half dozen books at most. I found a couple used books of interest…nothing amazing. But, I bumped into a guy that was browsing the same section who asked if I was finding anything interesting. He turns out to be an old sign artist in Portland who has been in sign business for 40 years…we exchanged names and he knew several of the calligrapher names I threw out. Turns out he’s part of the calligraphy guild in Portland and invited me out to visit. we had a good and lengthy chat and then it was getting time to get home and I’d be hitting rush hour anyway.

So, I reach into my pocket…uh oh. No keys. Shoot. think think thiiiiiiinnnnk. Oh yeah, I took my jacket off last minute cuz it was getting warm and I threw it in the trunk. Oh no, the keys were in my jacket of course. So, I have no cel phone and have to ask the desk clerk if I can call home. Wife’s not home. Shoot. Now to call a locksmith service for help. He’s nice enough to google for me and we find a service number to call….yup they can come out in 30 minutes. They take my Visa number and off we go. It’ll be $50 for the service. Steep but it’s better than waiting around for Kendra to have to come out with all the kids in rush hour to rescue me.

So, to kill time, I go back to the racks for 15 minutes then decide to head out to the parking garage. As soon as I hit the ground floor i see the locksmith car sitting there. He got there lickety split and had already sorted out my problem. He tells me that my keys are at the desk with the parking clerk. Oh yeah. I was about to say something and then realized in a flash that I had left my keys at the parking kiosk in exchange for a ticket stub (part of the policy of Powell’s parking arrangement)….so I mumbled something idiotic about how that was of course where they would be. And tried to make it seem natural that I would pay him for a service he hadn’t even provided…anything to deflect the complete retardedness of the situation. I had completely blanked that whole exchange from my memory until the moment that car was in front of me.

 I think the fatique of this whole move is shutting down my memory functions. My brain is trying to tell me “there’s no more capacity in here for multi-stream processing.” Sorry, buddy, it’ll be a while before things are working the way you like them to. In the mean time I should probably expect to be in for some more profoundly knuckleheaded moments.

On a positive note, it was a great day of meeting new people. I met Martin French for lunch and he introduced me to his designer friend Steve Mitchell who also teaches an illustration class at the College where Martin teaches. It was a real privilege to hang out with them both and have them take the time in their busy lives to offer information and share resources with me. And then bumping into Lee Littlewood – the sign painter – at Powell’s was a nice way to end the afternoon in Portland

We had heard that someone at Imago Dei held a homegroup in Oregon City, the closest option to us in Canby. Who do you suppose was the first person Kendra met working in the infant area at the church this morning. Erin and then Andy. she introduced me to them when i was looking for her at the end of the service. Easy going and friendly, homeshoolers with 4 kids…right away we saw common values and shared some things in common. They invited us over for dinner too and we had a great time getting acquainted over the din and chaos of our 8 fully engaged children. They told us how it took a while before they started getting to know people and although they had built up a good number of acquaintances it hasn’t yet filled the place of the deeper relationships they had found in Colorado. It’s a reminder to us of how dependent we are on God to connect us with people here and helps us recognize with gratitude when he sets up these appointments.

Martin French has also shown a lot of kindness and warmth in the few times I’ve encountered him and has initiated to share lunch with me and a designer friend of his

It seems to be a time of God’s favor for us in this season of transition. In the midst of a lot of pressure between work and managing all the loose ends for this immigration interview, God keeps showing up in the details…

1. We got a better priced ticket in the end on direct flights which is better for the baby. We were using Dad’s old travel agent in Toronto, Mabelle. Kendra found a flight that had better times and was $100 cheaper than what she emailed me. she confirmed availability on that flight and we booked it.
2. Also, we found out that Franz Wesley will be staying in Montreal over christmas so we’ll be able to see him on our trip.
3. Yesterday the mortgage broker that Bob had recommended called me to see how he could help and he’ll research what i need to have in a letter from my main clients. Bob has been very helpful and has always been pulling for us in our journey. He’s offered to help us find rental options and is looking into the house on Maple St. for us. He’s tickled by how God has provided for us.
4. Yesterday, Kendra called me with her good news about the deal she got on organic turkey products. She’s looked there several times and yesterday they had all the stock she was looking for at half price.
5. Kendra has done some very interesting things with the kids recently…touring the fort in Fort Langley, going to an Opera (Alberta Opera) at Lochiel. The kids loved them both.
6. Having coffee with dad yesterday and being able to describe how God has been leading us…he said his heart was able to come down now, “kitisa motema”, knowing that God is the one leading this change.
7. We have been able to avoid the swine flu so far and kids are healthy.

What a whirlwind. started house showings Monday, October 26
ended showings Nov 2 (Monday)
1 week and 15 showings
Joyce came for her birthday the same week (Wednesday) and was here for the offer we received.
460 was their offer. we countered from 479.8 down to 473. they countered 465 and it appeared they weren’t wanting to go any higher but were coaxed into going another thousand. final offer 466. It all felt so impersonal and cold trying to guess why they weren’t really prepared to negotiate much on price. I asked Rob two things: to indicate what they were prepared to offer to bridge the gap to our preferred lowest price of 470 and also if i could get the buyers number to call them and hear their story…make things a bit more personal and see if that changed things for us. Rob offered to pitch in 2,000 and got me their phone number and said they were completely willing to talk to us. I thought Rob’s offer was weak and later told him that was the one element that disappointed me. I didn’t want him to feel backed into a corner and wanted him to feel he had a choice so i told him we would go ahead with the deal regardless but i felt he had an opportunity here to be generous and still come out ahead in the deal. He explained that the number he had suggested came from the fact that his partner didn’t think they should contribute any of the commission but he understood my point and decided right there to double their contribution and bridge the gap. I’m happy for his sake that he chose well there and didn’t give that ground over to greed. it really was an awkward and vulnerable process to have him representing both the buyer and seller (dual agent) when what we were paying him for was to advise us through this process.

i got to talk to Misty. she told me how she had trained at Hillsongs in Australia where she had met her husband. He was quite a bit younger than her, they were starting out, 2 years married, their first home. They had seen a lot of homes, some were a little more updated than ours even and logically seemed to check out but they both agreed it didn’t feel right and they didn’t have a peace about the places. she said when they walked into ours it just felt peaceful to them and they agreed it felt like they could feel at home there. How awesome is that? I told her we worship God in our home with our kids and have been praying that God would bring the people he wanted to be here. She was excited to learn we love God too.

Today was the house inspection, went over 3 hours and we came home while they were still here. we ended up hanging around a little and chatting and would like to get together with them again. They haven’t yet told us if they have any concerns that affect their offer but we’ll find out soon.

Also, when we came home i went to the mailbox first before going inside and found two letters from Montreal for my immigration process. We now have an appointment date of December 21. it’s crazy how this is all coming together so fast…our heads are spinning. It’s all slow for so long and looks like the trail is going nowhere and then boom, you’re on the accelerated circus ride. I half expected this would happen, but it sure has my adrenaline firing.

After 1 week of being on the market and 15 showings we have an offer and have all signed the papers (yesterday). Misty and Sean Baylis are the young couple that are buying…another story of God’s goodness and provision in process.